You Can Count on the Unknown
by Ellen May
Read more of Ellen’s writing on her blog!
You can count on the unknown.
The unknown spaces we have to cross that lie between where we are and where we want to be.
It seems like a strange thing to say. How do we rely on something that’s not known? What’s inside of it to lean on, if we can’t see what’s there?
It doesn't make sense, until we stop seeking certainty INSIDE the unknown, and start looking outside of it, at the experience we’re having of not knowing.
From the inside looking out, it’s confusing, disorienting, sometimes frightening, irritating.
From the outside looking in, it makes a different sort of sense. We can count on it.
So, we’re setting out on our adventure. We know where we’d like to be - on the other side of a hurt that we’re healing, or dreaming of the life we want to create… we’re heading away from something we don’t want, or we’re heading towards something we want more than what we currently have.
We don’t have a map, we don’t know where we’re going. We just know we’re not where we want to be.
So what can we count on?
We can count on navigating the unknown to be a creative process. .Just like the way I paint or draw, just like the way I write these posts.
It goes like this:
I sit down with a thought I’d like to explore, or an idea I want to share. Something I’ve heard or seen that’s sparked an inspiration. Like today - ‘you can count on the unknown’ was said by an artist I’m learning from in a Zoom call I was on this morning, and something in me lit up and said YES.
I don’t know what the end result will be when I sit down to write. I have no way of knowing if it’s a post that’ll take me ten minutes or two hours to write (it’s taken me just over 60 to write to here, so far).
There’s no way I can know, when I sit down to write, how things will unfold. And it’s confusing and very irritating at times - I KNOW this is important, I know there’s clarity in here somewhere, I know this is something I’m feeling called to share, but HOW? WHERE are the words? Why is this taking so long? Why am I still sitting here? Can’t I just post a picture of somebody’s cat and call it done? How do I make this abstract concept make sense to you, how do I turn it into something valuable, that will reward you for reading it?
I go through this pretty much every day. But I keep writing BECAUSE I go through it every day - I’ve gone through it enough times that I’ve come to trust the process.
I know that if I keep going, I’ll get somewhere.
I know that the confusion will come, and I’ll keep teasing it out into sense, line by line.
I know that I’ll get irritated and want to quit and start writing something else, go make a snack, do anything but sit here in the discomfort of having no idea how to make it all come together. And I tell myself that if I’m ACTUALLY hungry I can have a snack after I’m done.
And I know there’ll come a sweet moment (right about now) when the confusion lifts, the irritation evaporates, and I can see I’m nearly at the end.
To navigate the unknown, all I have to do is keep going. Keep trusting. Keep moving words and sentences around until they click into place. Keep following what feels good. Keep looking to the people who’ve gone before me as guides on my path - I’m not walking this one alone.
Counting on the knowing that if I do these things - there’s no way I won’t arrive (WHERE I arrive is another question entirely - it might not be where I thought I was going, but that’s another story and magic in itself).
You can count on the unknown to teach you. You can count on it to cause you to grow. You can count on it to heal you. You can count on it to show you all kinds of wonders. You can count on it to give you what you need. And it'll do these things in its own way, on its own timeline. But it will deliver.
Because I step into the unknown every day, I’ve gotten very skillful at guiding others through it too. Want support on your path from where you are to where you’d rather be? Message me and let’s navigate your unknown together. It doesn’t have to be ALL irritating and confusing!
